My OverProtective Boyfriend
by SasuSaku Forever and Ever
Summary: This is a BETTER at least I hope it is :D version of My Over Protective Boyfriend. Please read this one :D Sequel to: Who Should I Choose? THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS! They make me happy xD SASUSAKU
1. My Over Protective Boyfriend

My Over-Protective Boyfriend:

This is a remake. I thought the other one was crappy, cheesy, dumb, and too SasuSaku centered and not as funny as WSIC? :(

But I thank all of you _soooo _much. Reviews make me happy ^^

So here goes nothing...o.o (THE FIRST CHAPPIE IS COPIED!)

* * *

**My Over-Protective Boyfriend**

Seventeen year old Haruno Sakura and Eighteen year old Uchiha Sasuke had been dating for...

Who knows who many weeks? Months? No, it hadn't been years yet...

Sasuke was _madly _in love with Sakura. It was like he was a mouse, and she was the cheese. Or something like that.

She liked him too. She had also dated the older Uchiha brother, and loved him dearly, but she had had to choose between one of the two.

She decided to give Sasuke a chance.

Sakura and Itachi were _really _close. Sometimes _too _close for Sasuke's own good...

Whenever Sakura came to the Uchiha manor, she'd hug Mikoto, Sasuke's mother, and kiss Itachi on both cheeks.

Every. Single. _Time._

The first time scared Sasuke. When he saw Sakura kissing Itachi on his cheeks, he got out a metal baseball bat and was about to hit Itachi in the face.

Luckily Sakura stopped him.

Sasuke was very...hm. How should I say this? _Protective _of his girlfriend.

If someone (preferably males!) touched her by the least, like walking in an crowded room and a boy accidently stepped on her foot, he would be in the hospital the next minute.

Trust me. I've been there. It's worse than a crime scene.

Well...Sasuke wasn't _protective. _He was just..._cautious, _yeah, that was the word.

Anyways, Sasuke _really _loved his girlfriend. Almost every night, you could hear the words:

"KYAAA! YOU PERVERT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSIDE MY HOUSE?! GET OUT!"

Which meant that Uchiha Sasuke had snuck into his angel's house to sleep with her.

The screams faded, which meant that the Haruno had given up and let the Uchiha take advantage of her.

When Karin and Ino, his fangirls through and through, had finally accepted the news, they had taken an overdose of anti-depressants and were ocassionally looking through the gun sections when going shopping.

How tragic. Not.

Our story begins on a Saturday afternoon...

Sakura woke up to find Sasuke hugging her by the waist in _her _bed. This was the...how many times was it? Probably 76th time. She lost count.

"Sasuke-kun!" she complained.

He fluttered his eyes open and smirked at his "damsel-in-distress."

"Yes, my princess?"

She kicked him.

"How many times have I told you _not _to say that!" she yelled.

He smirked again.

"Hn."

"Don't you 'Hn.' Me!"

He kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, that's not gonna work this time, Sasuke."

He kissed her cheek.

"Sasuke, I'm _serious_."

He just kept on smirking.

"SAS-"

He silenced her with a final kiss on the lips.

Like any other girl would've, she gave in.

"Damn you and your sexiness," she muttered when they broke apart.

She was about to get up when he nuzzled his head in the crook of her neck and hugged her waist.

"Don't leave me, Sakura-chan," he pouted.

She tried to pull him away.

"Sasuke, I need to go take a shower," she groaned.

He got up, carried her bridal style to the bathroom, and turned on the water.

"Sasuke...What are you planning on-"

He didn't say anything, waited for the water to get warmer, and, fully clothed, carried her in and rested her on his lap, stroking her hair.

"SASUKE UCHIHA!" she yelled.

"Yes? Oh, and by the way, your bathtub is so frickin' _small_, we should go over to _my _house..." he purred.

She wanted _so _badly to kick him in his...er..."thing."

"Sasuke, I'm going to get hypothermia!" she complained.

"Hn."

"Don't you _care _about me?!"

"Hn." He continued to play with her hair.

"Fine, then! I'm going to go to someone who actually _does _care about me!"

"And that would be _who_?"

She smirked. An _evil _smirk.

"Why, you don't know? Itachi-kun, of course!" she said with an _evil _smile.

He growled and tightened his grip on her waist.

She laughed.

"Sasuke-kun, I was jo-"

He kissed her. And the bathtub was frickin' _flooding._

"Mmph! Sas-"

"Don't worry. I'll have someone clean it up," he muttered, kissing her neck.

She moaned.

"Sas-Sasuke-kun!"

"Mm..."

He _seriously _did not care if her whole house would flood, would he? Because it flooded half the cramped bathroom and was now making its way to the bedroom...

* * *

She wrenched herself out of Sasuke's grasp and got out, soaking wet.

"You perverted, evil, little _cockroach_!" she shrieked, wrapping a towel around herself to prevent from getting colder than she already was.

He, too, got up from the bathtub and wrapped his warm arms around her.

It was amazing he wasn't cold. And he hadn't worn a shirt.

"As I told you, it's _not _going to work," she snarled, wanting to hit him if it weren't for her being cold.

"Hn. I love you," he murmured in her ear.

She blushed a little but regained her conscious.

"Sappy Sasuke means the world's coming to an end," she grumbled.

He bit her ear gently and a hand traveled below her waist. A little too far so that she-

"YOU FRIGGIN' PERVERT! DIE, YOU RAPIST!" she shrieked.

Being the awesome super-pwning ninja he is, he ducked before she could hit him (he'd gotten better since he'd first met her) and pinned her wrists, crashing his lips onto hers.

She tried to yell again, as if calling for Itachi, but he silenced her.

He smirked.

"I'm _your _over-protective boyfriend," he muttered through the kiss.


	2. I LOST MY TOUCH! D:

Sakura, after many shrieks, complaints, and fights with her lover, got dressed in a normal _un_revealing outfit (much to Sasuke's displeasure).

Sasuke had not cared to switch to Uchiha shorts, or put on a shirt. This had caused Sakura to have a mental nosebleed.

Damn him and his family for winning the friggin' genetic lottery. Lucky bastards.

Sasuke put his arms around her waist and his head between her breasts.

Pervert.

"You look good. As always," he mused.

His hands traveled lower down to her...well, you know.

Of course, you'd've thought that she'd kick him out the window first chance, and watch all the Uchiha-hungry fangirls and boys glomp him and molest him.

_Especially _if he had wet jeans and no shirt on.

Instead, she laughed and kissed his hair.

"You're so sweet, yet I want to hurt you every way I can think of sometimes."

"How romantic is that?" he said sarcastically.

Out of nowhere, Naruto came barging in.

Sakura yelped and pushed Sasuke away from her, he grabbing onto her wrist for support, which caused the rather comfortable couple to be on top of each other, faces inches away.

"N-Naruto!" Sakura stuttered, trying to push herself off of Sasuke.

He, not disturbed by the prescence one bit (or maybe he was just slow), grinned.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! Sasuke-teme!" he saluted.

Then his eyes widened.

"Neh, neh, Sakura-chan, why are you-Did I-?"

Sakura turned an awkward shade of red, and Sasuke's eyes flared.

"Dobe. Get _out_."

Naruto scrunched up his face and pulled up his pants so that they were up to his bellybutton, like those old hippies and my dad (yes, my dad does do that...).

"Forget it, Teme! Sakura-chan can still find her one and only true love!"

(This is from The Uchiha Matriarch, one of the most HILARIOUS SasuSaku stories out there. CHECK IT!)

Somewhere on the other side of Konoha, Rock Lee faked a massive sneeze.

Sasuke sighed.

"Dobe. Remember last March? We had a friggin' _wedding_. Are you that slow?" he grumbled, fiddling with the ring on Sakura's left hand.

"Neh, neh, but Sasuke-teme! That wasn't a _real _wedding, it was just-"

Sakura shrieked.

"GET _OUT, _NARUTO-BAKA!"

"But Sakura-_chan-!"_

After ten minutes of, "NO! NO, SAKURA-CHAN! NOT THE KNIFE! YOU KNOW I HAVE KNIFE-A-PHOBIA! DON'T! PLEASE! WHAT-WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE RAMEN SUPPLY?! NO, POOR RAMEN! I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE DEPTHS OF THIS KITCHEN! I-DAMNIT! WHO SPILLED THE ORANGE JUICE?! SAKURA-CHAN, PLEASE, SPARE ME! SPARE MY LIFE! NOOOOOO!"

And was only stopped when Sasuke said that he couldn't bear Naruto's yelling anymore. Naruto, anime-crying, holding three packs of instant-noodle ramen, with several holes poked in it where the noodles had scattered all over the floor, was thrown out of the house with an orange-juiced butt.

Great way to start off the morning, huh? :D

* * *

-Itachi POV-

I'm sure Sasuke spent the night with Sakura-chan again. He's gotten better at those ninja-classes he took. Of course, when Sakura hated his guts and slapped him like there was no end, I felt sort of tingly inside.

Of course, not the kind Sakura-chan made me feel.

Huh. I could hear something weird. Was it just me, or could I hear-

"NO! NO, SAKURA-CHAN! NOT THE KNIFE! YOU KNOW I HAVE KNIFE-A-PHOBIA! DON'T! PLEASE!-"

Oh God. I really dont' want to know what Naruto had done.

He already broke four elevators in our house, three sofas, nine different gaming consoles, his arm, a couple legs, a few maids' necks (I'm surprised he didn't get arrested for manslaughter yet), and his virginity.

I mean-I didn't-

Okay. Maybe I did. He and his girlfriend (Hikara, was it?) were making out on one of the guest beds and they apparently did _it_.

Poor girl. She looked as if she had seven fevers at the same time. But she was smiling rather happily.

I sighed.

Is my Sakura-chan still a virgin? (o.o'')

* * *

Sakura was panting out of anger.

"That little-" she snarled.

Sasuke put his arms around her waist and his head was in her hair.

"I know he's a dobe."

She sighed and plopped down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Sasuke sat (no, Uchiha's don't plop, remember? :D) next to her and held left hand, fiddling with the silver ring.

"You turned 17 that day," he mused.

"I think I know when my birthday is, Sasuke-kun."

She smiled when she said that.

"Yeah," he said.

He laid down next to her.

There was a momentary silence.

"You look like you're born in January," she said after a while.

He smirked.

"Why so?"

"I dunno. You're sort of like Harry Potter-only sexier," she added when she saw his face.

"A helluva lot sexier," he grumbled.

She laughed.

"But you're _mine_, only, neh?" she said, her arms around his neck and her body pressing against his.

Damn Kami-sama for making her a E-cup.

"Hn."

There was a knock on the door. They, who had been kissing (Sakura starting, with Sasuke becoming...hormonic...o.0) broke apart and smoothed out their clothing and their hair.

Neji and Hinata barged in with a still-crying Naruto, his white shorts (yes, they are white, not orange :D) now orange (aww...) from the orange juice.

(Quick unnecessary A/N: OMFG I USED ORANGE THREE TIMES IN THE SENTENCE! -gets Pulitzer Prize and wipes away tears- Thank you...thank you...T.T)

Hinata looked angry, but Neji, the mentally retarded ADHD guy, looked angrier, if possible. Naruto continued to clutch the broken ramen, which, had tried to have been repaired with several feet of duct tape and electric things that you rub together and say, "CLEAR!"

By the looks of his eyes, he had apparently failed being surgeon.

He wasn't qualified to have a Master's Degree yet.

Hinata marched up to Sasuke and grabbed him by the collar (how OOC is that?! GO ANTI-SASUANYONE BUT SAKURA!).

"WHAT. DID. YOU. _DO. _TO. MY. NARUTO. KUN?!" she shrieked.

Angry Hinata was _scary_.

Almost as scary as Sakura.

Instead of helping Sasuke, Sakura slowly inched away from the scene only to be pinned onto the bed by a Neji.

Sasuke, ignoring Hinata, snarled at Neji.

"You have three seconds to let her go. Three..."

Neji had pretended not to hear.

"Two..."

Oh God. Angry Sasuke was ten times scarier than Angry Sakura, in her opinion.

"O-"

"OOH WA OOH WA AH AH!"

CaramellDansen was being played downstairs by who knows who?

Of course, since it was such a small house, he or she would have to move many things.

_This would make Sakura teary-eyed, _Sasuke thought. _Because it was the only thing her parents left behind for her._

Sakura, too, looked frightened. Sasuke grabbed her by the wrist and ran downstairs with her.

Sakura gaped at the two adults she saw, but then burst into a wave of giggles.

Tobi and Deidara were playing DDR (magically!) and nothing was destroyed.

_Yet_.

Or-nah. They were mature, responsible, and-

"DAMN YOU, DEIDARA!" Tobi shrieked and threw a lamp at his face, and, as Deidara ducked, Tobi hit a couple walls, forming a lamp-shaped hole.

Sakura winced.

Poor lamp.

"Get _out _of her house. _Now_." Sasuke snarled, holding her hand.

Then, Tobi and Deidara, becoming "friends" again, challenged each other again to DDR's Dam Dadi Doo.

"KAMI DAMN YOU," Tobi shrieked when Deidara once again beat him.

The score was:

DUM DUM DUM...

Zero (for Tobi) vs. One (for Deidara).

What a happy relationship for the two friends.

Soon Sasuke was strangled by a Hinata (BOO SASUHINA =.=) and Neji grabbed Sakura by the waist and his face was only an inch away from her lips...

Neji had grown accustomed to Sakura after Sasuke had brought her over to hang out with his friends (he wanted to spend some alone time, but she kept bugging him to chillax with his "homies.")

Sasuke was about to kill Neji when all of a sudden-

A lamp hit Neji square in the forehead.

And-

HOLY SHIT.

THE LAMP WAS A FRICKIN' BAT BOOMERANG :D

Naruto immediately stopped crying and took out a pencil and paper.

"BATMAN! HOLY SHIT! BATMAN! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!"

There was a momentary silence except for DDR's new song Honey Punch and Tobi's long string of curses fired at Deidara.

Naruto never really got that autograph.

* * *

Okay that was my attempt at being like WSIC? again...and it ended up really crappy. T.T

I THINK I LOST MEH TOUCH D:

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!


	3. MUST READ AN

OMFG GUYS.

I HAVE BAD NEWS.

I CAN'T UPDATE ANY OF MEH STORIES UNTIL DEC. 1ST!

WHY?! MY BROTHER IS COMING HOME!

SO THAT MEANS NO FF, NO COMPUTER, NO ANYTHING!

MY FREEDOM IS GONE!

...See you December first...T.T


	4. SPARE THE SKETCHBOOK!

Hinata left panting angrily with her Naruto-kun, and Neji was snarling at both Sasuke and Naruto.

Sasuke for interrupting his kiss, and Naruto for stealing poor Hinata's virginity.

Sasuke had nearly strangled Tobi and Deidara (along with Neji) and told them to get out of the house or else he'd put them in a small, cramped log cabin with Lee and Gai-sensei, and lock the doors.

Sakura laid down on the sofa, Sasuke on the ground stroking her hair.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"There's nothing you should be sorry about," she said.

Then she felt something **heavy **on her.

Sasuke began to kiss her neck. She softly moaned.

"Sasuke-kun, baka," she muttered.

"Hn," he muttered, his lips moving upwards towards hers.

She turned her head so that they could kiss better, her hands digging into his shoulders.

"You taste _so _good," he murmured, his right hand caressing her face.

"You taste better," she argued, savoring the minty taste, her hands in his hair.

(Note: I've never kissed anyone, so forgive if this isn't correct to those who've kissed xD)

Sasuke's hand traveled up her shirt, and she turned an awkward shade of red.

"I'd never hurt you, baka," he murmured, his hand behind her back as he-

Tobi and Deidara had barged right back in the house.

Sakura yelped and pushed Sasuke off of her, he mentally cursing for interrupting something he'd long wanted to do.

Couch sex was smexeh :3 (LOL no...I'm just jk xD)

He was so close (_so _close!) to seeing her topless. That little pervert.

God damnit, he hadn't even seen her in a bikini!

Yet his brother had! Or so he thought...

He awoke from his dirty fantasy when his pretty-boy face met a hand slap, so hard that it reminded him of when Sakura used to hit him like-

"SASUKE-BAKA!" she shrieked, shaking his shoulders.

Tobi and Deidara had come back to take DDR and then hurriedly left, wanting to plug it in Itachi's room and beat the living daylights out of each other, along with learning some rather interesting curse words.

She continued to shake him into consciousness.

Without warning, he pinned her back onto the sofa and began to eat her face. They were practically _glued _together. Literally. Like, you couldn't even tell who's hands were whose.

"S-Sasuke-kun!" she blushed when his hand once again traveled up her shirt.

"How dumb are you, Sakura?" he muttered.

"E-Eh?" she stuttered.

"Do you ever think I would hurt you? Cheat on you?"

She flushed.

"I-What kind of a question is that, Sasuke-kun?" she said, sitting up, her arms pressed against her chest.

He was on his knees on top of her, his arms on either side of her, looking in her eyes.

Suddenly his arms wrapped around her head and he hugged her tightly, turning from the sappy side to the seductive one.

"You're such a baka," he murmured, his ice-cold hand on her cheek, kissing her lips.

She pressed a finger to his lips.

"I'm hungry," she suddenly said, pushing Sasuke off gently while walking casually over to the pantry.

He gaped at her.

Seeing that _no one _(and I mean NO ONE) interrupts his make-out sessions with his lover, he protectively put his arms around her while she went looking for something in the fridge.

"Bleh," he grumbled.

SHe giggled.

"Wait. I told you I'm hungry."

His eyes widened.

"OMFGWTFBBQ TOMATOES, BITCHES!" he shrieked, making his way for the tomato stock.

She laughed.

"You're so weird," she said, holding onto his shoulder for support.

He was too busy eating the tomatoes. He looked as if he hadn't eaten in four years (although he would've been dead).

He then stopped abruptly: Not that it was rude for an Uchiha to scarf down tomatoes (although he broke that rule several times when he hadn't had any for a while), but he wondered...

Hm. What would tomatoes and Sakura taste like together?

Let's find out ;)

He slowly made his way towards the confused girl, placing his lips (not crashing!) them onto hers, having eaten a bite of tomato on the way of the walk.

Holy shit.

Seriously. This blows tomatoes AND Sakura out of the water seperately.

Both of them were incredible, like, you-couldn't-even-describe-it-incredible.

Her eyes widened, but she responded eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck. His hand went from her waist down to her-

"SASUKE! YOU NEED TO PURIFY YOUR HANDS!" someone shrieked through the doorway.

How the hell did they all get in? Sasuke made a mental note to install a burglar alarm in her house, but only _he _could get through.

Sai shrieked something gibberish, and then pushed Sakura away from Sasuke, who happily went through the fridge to cook waffles or something retarded (Sasuke had bought her a couple fancy 3000 dollar pans, even though there were all the complaints and the fights...).

Sasuke snarled.

"Dobe. Get. Off."

"DOBE IS NARUTO! BUT-BUT! YOU NEED TO CLEAN YOUR HANDS!"

He grabbed Sasuke by the wrists.

"YOUR HANDS ARE UNCLEAN! I CANNOT BEAR TO TOUCH THEM! YOU AND NEJI HAVE FALLEN INTO HER TRAP! YOU HEAR ME?! HER TRAP! GOD DAMNIT, WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HER? PINK HAIR, FOR GOD'S SAKE! A MAN HAS TO SAVE HIS DIGNITY! THINK OF ALL THE LITTLE KIDS YOU'LL MAKE! YOU DON'T WANT PINK HAIRED UCHIHA BOYS RUNNING AROUND THE STREETS! A MAN HAS TO KEEP HIS DIGNITY! A MAN HAS TO-!"

He was interrupted when an angry Sakura hit him over the head with a HOT frying pan. He began to weep in his little emo corner.

Oh, I'm sorry, only emo Sasuke has an emo corner. Forgive meh, let's try that again :)

Sai began to grab all his sketchbooks and run away.

"NO! NO! SPARE THE SKETCHBOOK! SPARE THE POOR PAPER! TREES WERE KILLED BECAUSE OF THIS! WE NEED TREES TO LIVE! WE-WHAT-WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT PAN? YOU KNOW I'M SCARED OF PANS, UGLY! SHIT! NO, I'M SORRY! I'M-"

Sakura just shoved a cup of mouthwash in his mouth.

"Baka," she muttered.

Sasuke winced.

He couldn't help but feel bad for one of his..."friends."

"You're an idiot," she rolled her eyes, kicking him gently, he using his sketchbook as a shield.

"DON'T! PLEASE! SPARE THE SKETCHBOOK!"

Sasuke sweatdropped.

"Sakura. Stop. His yells are making me deaf."

She stopped in her steps.

"I want waffles," she said smiling.

She walked off getting some kind of crappy Japanese waffle.

Sai uncovered himself from his sketchbook.

"Heh. I'm glad that's over with. Ugly wants waffles either because she's FAT, or she's like...PMSing or she got pregnant and she's having crav-NO! STOP! I'M JOKING! I'M JOKING! SASUKEEEEEE!" he shrieked.

Yup. Sasuke was _really _gonna install that burglar alarm.

* * *

...It's official. I LOST MEH TOUCH! D: Idk what happened, I mean, the first couple chappies of WSIC? really sucked, but then it got funnier, and then-

I dunno. It's GONE D:

I'mma copy ideas there and stuff. Bleh...

Last chappie (I think) until Dec. 1st. WAH.


	5. CNN and the UROs

LOL Haisha, I did NOT get a word you said about the "dominant" and "recessive" stuff xD

I'm so dumb :3

Anyways:

* * *

After many shrieks, complaints, and arguments, Sai was pushed out of the house, and Sasuke was left with his sexual tomato/Sakura fantasy.

Sakura was panting. Sasuke had to admit, she was cute when she was angry. Then again: she was cute anytime, anywhere, any place, any-

Well. You get the idea.

_Back to my "chores," _he smirked to himself as he pinned the angry girl on the counter.

"No. I'm hungry," she pouted, getting the crappy Japanese waffle they attempt to make into an American waffle.

He snarled and put his arms around her waist behind her while she looked for some water.

"_No _one interrupts me," he muttered seductively in her ear, his hot breath now traveling over her neck which gave her shivers.

"Then I do," she said bravely, starting to make the mixture which looked horribly like cement.

She wasn't a good cook, which was one of the reasons Sasuke always took her to fancy restaurants. One, because he loved her and wanted to treat her the best way he could. Two, referring to number one, he was fuckin' rich and could buy three third-world-countries having more than a million dollars left over, and three, he didn't want her to starve on her horrible cooking.

He wouldn't tell her that, though. He was a man: They have to survive through women's cooking all their lives (unless they're gay or the Iron Chef).

And besides, the only good dish he enjoyed was tomatoes she cut.

And whenever she accidentally cut her finger, then-

"Sasuke-kun, why are you sucking on my finger? I didn't cut it," she said, confused.

_Damnit._

I want that knife. My cutting-knife broke from me using it to cut my wrists too much. :(

**I don't even want to know why I have "mixed emotions," if you would.**

_You love us. You know it :)_

-sigh- I wanna die.

**Then go die in a ditch and stop being here, retard.**

...I think I'll do that :D

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked, obviously not knowing what was going on.

His hands were running up and down on her back repeatedly, as if he were worried.

She smiled and put her hands on his chest, laying her head there, too.

"You're so weird," she muttered.

"Hn." His hands were now in his pockets, obviously embarrassed for such a mistake.

"But you're _my _weirdo," she giggled, her arms around his waist.

"Hn."

_-chews popcorn- THIS IS BETTER THAN THE RING!_

Ew. Sappy Love story :( THIS AIN'T TWILIGHT! (...HARRY POTTER FOR THE WIN! :D)

**...Don't you have somewhere to be?**

No.

Sakura was now back to cooking her concrete-waffle.

"Damnit," she cursed when a little oil "flew" onto her finger.

She bit it gently and winced a little, making a face.

This time Sasuke had a _real _reason to suck on it. He tenderly grabbed her index finger and pressed his ice cold lips on it.

She sighed in relief.

"That feels good," she thanked him, her hand caressing his neck.

Ignoring the food, he gently pushed her to the ground and pressed his lips to hers, and eagerly responded by wrapping her arms around his neck.

Then they smelled something bur-

Sasuke calmly poured cold water on the fire, making steam come up in his face, yet he had the same expression.

She giggled a little and kissed him on the cheek as a "Thank You."

"Hn. Damn food," he grumbled, sad for that interrupting his kiss.

He casually walked over to the piano.

"You haven't played on this in a long time. It's dusty," he said, as if it were the most OBVIOUS thing on earth...which it was.

"I know. I haven't the time-"

"Now."

"Huh?" she asked.

"Are you deaf?"

"No, Yu is blind!" she said in a wheezy voice.

He sweatdropped.

"Sakura, this isn't Rush Hour 3, okay?"

"Aww."

She trudged over to where he was standing and laid down on the small bench.

"Bleh. I feel like crap," she murmured.

Arms were holding her bridal-style onto the owner's lap, stroking her hair tenderly.

"Don't try and change the subject," he muttered in her ear.

"Ugh. Sexy bastard," she said, her head in his chest.

"I know," he smirked smugly, chin up.

"I wanna go see Itachi. I wanna play with him," she said chibi-like.

She headed for the door before he could stop her.

* * *

Sakura hugged Mikoto around the waist and flung her arms around Itachi, who was on the sofa eating rice with his chopsticks.

She kissed him on both cheeks (as usual).

"Good morning, Sakura-chan," he smiled, putting his food down to hug her and kiss her forehead.

Sasuke barged through the door, shirtless (he had put on a shirt to chase after her) and with ripped jeans.

His jeans were in perfect shape, before, but-

It all happened so quickly.

Sasuke's POV

_I was chasing after that girl. Damn, she's energetic._

_But she's meh energetic bitch, mother -beep!- _

_What the-Why's it cold?_

_Where the hell is my shirt?_

_And why do my pants feel like they're sli-_

_HOLY SHIT! GET AWAY, GIRL! GET AWAY!_

Sasuke was being mauled by perverted girls clawing at his chest, his leftover shirt, his pants, and one of them was even biting his hair.

I think that was a fanboy, but-

_I was like, "GET OFF, BITCHES! I'M TAKEN BY A HOT AND SMEXY GIRL, WHO IS MINE, BITCHES, MINE!"_

Anyways, Sasuke came in nearly half-jumped by dogs with rabies or something. He was-

Holy shit, was that foam coming out of his mouth, or toothpaste?

Eww.

There was an important news report flashing in front of Itachi's program he was just watching.

"We interrupt this program for a shocking announcement."

It went to CNN.

"Suna has been attacked by rabid green UROs (Unidentified Running Objects) tearing down the city. He's-OH MY GOD! HE'S HERE! RUN! RUN, KAZEKAGE-SAMA! RUN!"

There was a picture of a _mad _Gai with flames in his eyes, hands balled up into fists and tearing down the place.

In the background, there was Suna which was on fire, and had looked as if it had been bombed.

"LEE! WHERE ARE YOU?! I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE SAND-BOY! (refer back to last chappie of WSIC? :D) YOSH! MR. SAND BOY, FACE THE POWER OF OUR YOUTH!"

The program ended there and then.

Everyone's eyes were as big as dinner plates.

"Well..._that _was interesting," Sakura began.

"I really don't want to know what happened," Itachi said, getting up and giving the plate back to one of the maids, who fainted at the sight of his hotness. ;)

"Hn." Sasuke said.

Sakura began to play with her fingers.

Then Sasuke's "homies" came barging in. Naruto had a large backpack of ramen, and Neji came there rather happy.

He had been breaking up and getting back together with TenTen. Their agenda was a lot like:

_"I'm breaking up with you," TenTen said._

_Neji began to bawl in the middle of the streets, and many girls were giving TenTen the death glare and going to comfort Neji._

_"FINE! FINE! LEAVE ME! LEAVE ME FOR SPANDEX BOY!" he said in his emo corner._

_TenTen's face paled._

_"...Oh...My..."_

_She took out a katana or two._

_"SAY THAT AGAIN?!"_

_Neji began to shriek and run around, TenTen chasing after him kataning all his clothes off, which were happily gathered by fangirls biting each other for them._

_Next Week..._

_"TenTen, do you wanna go out?" Neji would ask._

_"Sure."_

_They walked arm in arm towards their next per-_

_"EW! NEJI! YOU'RE DISGUSTING!" Naruto giggled._

_*First class._

Neji's smile meant that TenTen and him had gotten back together. He was over Sakura.

Way over.

Yup.

Well, maybe he'd use her to get TenTen jealous whenever she broke up with him.

Or-

Nah. Never mind.

Sakura began to play with Sasuke's left hand. He grabbed _her _left hand, however, and began to delicately stroke the fake-ish engagement ring there.

"Seventeen," he murmured, pressing his cool lips on her dainty fingers.

Itachi smiled, and Sai barfed on the rug, Mikoto chasing after him with a broomstick, shrieking, "YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG! GET BACK HERE!"

Naruto shrieked.

"WE'RE STILL HERE, YOU KNOW!"

"You're dumb, Naruto, ruining a touching moment," Shikamaru yawned, collapsing onto the floor.

"Hn," he replied, sounding much like Sasuke.

* * *

**O.O**

Eh. Okay. I call quits xD. I'mma update random times, but...wah. WHERE IS MEH TOUCH AGAIN?! -dies-

**This is the last chappie, b/c tomorrow to Dec. 1 equals bro home equals no fanfiction or computer :(**

**Email me? :)**


	6. Did I Interrupt something?

SUFFERING FROM WRITER'S BLOCK D: MEH WRITING SUCKS BALLS NOW T.T lmao but...

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG (etc) I AM SO SORRY I HAVE NOT UPDATED! AND THAT ITS CRAPPY! D: Here ish meh crappyness...o.o How the hell did WSIC? get over 300 reviews again? o.o''

* * *

The couple had returned home, after Sakura had given Itachi a heart-warming hug, which he gladly returned.

He kissed her forehead.

"Good night, Sakura-chan," he smiled.

She broke into a beautiful grin.

"You too," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

He chuckled a bit and ruffled her hair, pushing her slightly towards the impatient Sasuke, tapping his foot.

Sasuke, holding out his hand (which she gladly took) led her out, smirking at Itachi. It was like his "smile."

Itachi waved before sitting down on the couch taking a magazine out.

When Mikoto closed the door on them, after many compliments and such, he sighed and his free hand ran through his hair.

"Is there anything wrong?" she asked.

"He hasn't been the same. In a good way," he added when he saw her face. "We never used to behave as kind as this since we were little. But we still hate each other."

She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"You're so sweet like him, you know that?"

He patted her head like a puppy.

"Hn."

She sighed.

"Screw that, you've _still _been arrogant, egotistical, an asshole, and-"

She was interrupted by him crashing his lips onto hers. They'd probably become bruised.

Oh Kami: Was that his tongue?

Holy shit. Major nosebleed here.

And this comment came from no other than...

"SHINO?!" Sakura shrieked, pushing Sasuke back onto a car door, rubbing his head impatiently and muttering, "Damn you..."

"I see I've interrupted something," he said, behind those mysterious glasses of his, which the eyes behind were really even more perverse than Jiraiya and Naruto AND Sasuke (yes, he silently admitted he was even more of an Icha Icha fan than Kakashi...where else would he know how to please women?) :D

He took something out from his coat (still mysterious...) and fiddled around with it.

"I guess I'll see you later. Bye," he said with a jerk of the head.

There was a moment of silence (as if someone had died) and then Sasuke began to feverishly make out with Sakura again.

Little did they know Shino was an undercover Mission Impossible Spy working for Jiraiya's** special edition** Icha Icha Paradise! :D

But no one must know...no, readers. Not even you. So pretend I didn't say anything.

Anyways, Sasuke had pinned Sakura to the car door she just knocked him in, as payback.

"Damn you!" she murmured through the kiss while she wrapped her arms around him, whose hands were going up her shirt.

"Hn."

"Don't you have somewhere to go?" Shino said again, walking past them, eyeing them suspiciously through the glasses although behind them he was thinking...graphic images.

"Don't you have somewhere to _be_?" Sasuke snarled, his hands still in HIS Sakura-chan's shirt, giving him a death glare.

"Shut up," he retorted. "I was just taking a walk."

"Past here again, huh?"

"...Maybe."

"I hope you choke on your own saliva," Sasuke spat.

"Good for me." Shino kept on walking, but slower, just in case something happened between the two and they had wild, crazy, animal sex on the sidewalk.

Jiraiya would be happy. _Very_ happy.

Sasuke grabbed her hand and led her away from him. He didn't want his cherry blossom to be exposed to such violence he would do if she weren't there.

"You're so rude!" she slapped him on the shoulder when Shino was out of hearing.

"Hn."

"Stop it!"

"...Hn."

"You're impossible!"

"...I didn't like the way he was looking at you."

"How could you tell?! He's wearing _glasses_, for God's sake!"

"So?" he muttered.

"I hate you."

"That's a lie," he said.

She grumbled.

"Yes, it is, but at the moment I'm not feeling too fond of you."

He grabbed her chin and pinned her to the closest brick wall.

"Ow," she muttered.

"Will a kiss make it better?" he whispered huskily.

"Don't try this playboy stuff on me," she warned.

He began to kiss her neck, smirking slightly at the moans she was trying to supress.

"I love you," he muttered, his lips now at her cheek.

"Damnit."

His lips were now on hers, gently kissing them.

"You're so beautiful," he muttered, a hand through her hair.

"Sexy bastard." she grumbled.

Giving up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back.

Shino walked past again.

"Did I interrupt something?"

Sakura broke apart this time, and before Sasuke could react, she screamed:

"SHINO. GO. TO. HELL!" punching him out of orbit.

"TEAM BUG IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!" he yelled as he reached towards the stars, but got hit by an oncoming plane.

There was again a momentary silence before Sasuke carried Sakura in his arms to her house to continue what they had left off.


	7. I Love You

I know the Shino part was random, but I felt like adding it for some reason. And because Shino is so mysterious and whatnot with the glasses. Lolz.

* * *

Suffering from a major head injury by the plane, Shino laid in the hospital, Jiraiya at his side.

...He didn't look very happy.

And this was why:

One: He didn't get any pictures of Sasuke and Sakura (whom Jiraiya seemed to think were the sexiest couple (ha, you don't know how true that is)) having wild animal sex on the sidewalk.

Two: He knew that I told ALL of you that he was doing "research." Which is why I'm in the hospital too, typing with only one hand, for my other one is in a sling with heavily wrapped bandages.

Jiraiya tapped his fingers impatiently.

"I'm sorry, Sensei."

"You should be. You have not failed. Yet. Until _now_."

If I were watching from the background (which I was), I'd be cracking up right now.

"Sensei."

"Yes?" he said, blinking.

"I have gotten Sasuke-san's EBJ."

"EBJ?" Jiraiya said in confusion.

"Emo Black Journal. I've read it. To tell you the truth, it has entries of Haruno Sakura that is more graphic than your books. And he also has pictures of her in rather skimpy outfits taped on _every _page. I have to admit, she looks pretty. And that coming from the asexual bug man, is a great feat."

Jiraiya twitched, not believing this was happening, then grabbed the book out of his hands and began to flip through it, having nosebleeds, so he held the book out at arms-length so that the book would not be stained with blood. Which it hadn't.

"You have done well, young grasshopper," he smiled.

* * *

"WHERE IS MY FUCKING BOOK?!" he yelled, while Sakura tried to calm him down.

"DOBEEEEE!" he said, his mind coming over to Naruto.

Sakura shook her head.

"Itachi-kun, Sasuke-kun's being melodramatic again," she sighed, hugging him around the middle, her head in his chest.

He kissed her forehead and ruffled her hair.

"It's pretty normal. He gets this way when he hasn't seen you for over three hours. To be true, I was (and still am) like that. Although I don't admit it," he smirked.

She smiled and got up on tip-toes to kiss his cheek.

He slightly blushed.

"You're so sweet," she laughed.

He put his arms around her waist and his head on hers.

"I miss you. Still."

She flung her arms around his neck.

"As do I-"

"KYAAA! FUGAKU-KUN, GET THE CAMERA! ISN'T THIS KAWAII?! HURRY UP!" Mikoto screamed as the two broke apart to see what was happening.

Sasuke had calmed down and grabbed Sakura by the wrist.

"Hn. I'm taking you somewhere."

Sakura held onto Sasuke's shoulder with her free hand and asked, "Where are we going? Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

He stepped on something on the way out.

"What the hell?" he muttered, picking it up.

...Oh.

My.

Freaking.

God.

Sasuke would've thanked the Heavens and screamed as loud as he could if he weren't an Uchiha. And Uchihas never embarrass themselves in front of their lovers.

His journal was back. Still intact (he confirmed this by skimming through the pages, making sure his entries were still there, along with the photos. Oh yeah, did I mention on the second-to-last-page (the very last was him and Sakura) he had pictures of himself and then captions that said "I'm too sexy for my shirt")

"Sasuke-kun? What is that?"

"Hn. Nothing," he said as he acted all normal again and put the journal in his leather jacket.

"Where are you taking me? Sasuke-kun?"

"You'll see."

To tell the truth, he really didn't know _where _he was taking her.

"Did you want to go anywhere?" he said, continuing to hold her hand, intertwining their fingers.

"I-Not really," she said.

Damnit.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Aishiteru," she murmured.

"Aa." _I love you too._

"Why do you say so little?" she asked, not ticked off, but not pleased either.

"Hn." _I'm sorry that I don't talk much._

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn. Gomen," he muttered.

She sighed and took her hand away from his, putting it on her forehead.

"You're impossible."

There was a moment of silence.

He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

She blushed.

"Bleh," she muttered, turning away.

He chuckled.

"You're so random," he said, ruffling her hair.

He eyed her.

"You'd look better in more stylish clothing," he commented.

"Are you saying I don't look good?" she snapped.

He sighed.

"You look good in anything, baka. I'm saying you'd look _better_."

"I feel offended."

He bent down and kissed her on the lips.

"Bleh."

"Love you, too," he smirked.

His chin was on top of her head, while his hands played with her face. He was behind her, so that his (well-built) chest pressed into her back.

"What should we name our children?" he whispered.

She turned an odd shade of red (this caused the Crayola factory to stop making the previous red and start a new one) and muttered something like, "Pervert. Baka. Dobe. Teme." and some other names.

"I'm serious," he said.

"I don't want to think that far yet."

He grumbled something incoherent and reached for her left hand.

"Remember this?"

She sighed.

"Yeah. I know. I remember. It was my favorite day of my life, always will be, et cetera," she said as if she'd been forced to practice it 1000 times a day.

"You don't sound like it's important," he muttered angrily.

"I'm sorry," she said, turning around to kiss him on the lips gently.

He responded back eagerly: As if they only had a limited time together.

"When will you ever have sex with me?" he growled as he said it through the kiss.

She turned redder than both times before.

"I-I..." she trailed off.

He closed his eyes, as if in pain.

"Gomen. I didn't mean to rush you-"

"Thanks."

He kissed her forehead.

"I hate sweets. But I love you."

"You may be an arrogant, egotistical, cocky, pompous-"

"Get to the point, Sakura," he sighed.

"But I love you too," she finished off, smiling.

She flung her arms around him for another heart-warming kiss.

* * *

...o.o

Review? :D


	8. Half Chappie and IMPORTANT AN

THANKIES TO ALL =OO I LOVE YA!

* * *

Shino was discharged from the hospital, but now had a new collection of BRAND-NEW Icha Icha books Sasuke AND Kakashi would die for.

Wow. What pervs.

Anyways, Sasuke decided to take Sakura to the beach. Or the swimming pool. Either one.

-cough- This was an excuse to see her in a bikini... -cough-

"I want to take you somewhere," he said suddenly.

They were in his bedroom, Sakura laying down on his dark-blue covers while Sasuke sat up against the pillows, lazily flipping through the channels.

"Where?" she said, sitting up.

"Hn."

"There's no point going if you're not gonna say," she yawned, crossing her legs and lying back down.

Uchihas had control. Because if he were as hormone-crazy as he secretly is, he would've jumped her and basically raped her on the bed.

But no: He had _control_.

CONTROL.

Oh screw it. He didn't. But he wouldn't jump her. Because then she would run back to Itachi. And then he'd get his ass kicked. And he'd be suffering heartbreak too much to notice Itachi kicking his ass.

Sakura scooted over next to Sasuke and her head was on his lap.

"What're you thinking of?" she mused, her folded hands over her stomach.

"You," he smirked, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

She smiled.

He picked her up so that she was seated on his lap. She blushed.

One hand rested on her stomach: The other on her waist.

His head was between her E-cup breasts.

She turned red, but nonetheless put her left hand on his neck and her right on his back.

His mouth met hers and suddenly he was on top of her, her arms securely around his neck.

Sasuke was (of course) talented, and he began to kiss her feverishly.

She, apparently, was not as skilled, so a minute later she tried to pull apart for air (as all humans have to breathe).

The idiot didn't notice.

"Mmph!"

...I guess he didn't have the smart genes that Itachi had inherited.

"Sas-!"

_SLAM_.

"KYA! FUGAKU-KUN! GET THE VIDEO CAMERA! ISN'T THIS KAWAII?!" Mikoto interrupted the love fest as Sasuke broke apart (Sakura thanked the heavens) and rolled over so that his father wouldn't..."think" about what his son would do to her.

Mikoto sighed and cried anime tears while Fugaku got the camera.

"Damn it, you're too slow!" she sobbed, her head on his shoulder.

"Hn."

Sakura could see where the talking-genes came from for both sons.

Sasuke grabbed Sakura by the hand and led her downstairs.

"Sorry about them."

She kissed his cheek.

"S'all right."

He kissed her back gently.

"I hate when they interrupt us," he muttered.

She laughed.

"I know you do," she teased.

"Hn."

His arm wrapped around her waist but slowly dropped, so that his hand was now resting on her perfect thigh.

She turned a shade of red and murmured something like, "Pervert. Bastard. Idiot. Arro-"

"Shuttup," he muttered, his hands on her neck and entangled in her hair while he brought his lips to hers.

Itachi had just come downstairs when Sakura's hands were gripping his clothing, tilting her head to the right so that they could kiss better.

Itachi smiled and tried to sneak back up, when Sakura noticed him and pushed Sasuke away so that she could jump into his arms.

"ITA-KUN!" she shrieked with delight as she flung her arms around his neck and buried her head in his chest.

He ruffled her hair.

"Sakura-chan," he smiled, kissing her forehead.

"What've you been doing?" she asked, looking up at him with a clueless expression on her face, which made her look even cuter than she already was.

"The usual. You know," he said, jerking his head a little.

She pouted.

"You work too hard, Itachi-kun," she playfully scolded while laying her head on his chest, smiling.

"I'll try to relax," he smirked.

"You better," she said, sticking her tongue out.

He pressed his lips to her hair and pushed her towards Sasuke.

He waved (which was more of him raising a hand up in the air) and winked at Sakura, who laughed.

Sasuke's lips twitched in what seemed like a smile.

Okay I'm gonna end here really quick to tell you something.

MY BROTHER IS OUTSIDE AND I'M GOING ON VACATION TOMORROW. I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING B/C MY COMPUTER CRAHSED AND I SPAZZED AND WHAT NOT. I AM SO SORRY!!!! D:

...Have a Merry Christmas everybody x]]

I love you all =OO

P.S. if anyone else wants to do a remake or w/e of this you're welcome too =]


	9. AN

Back from break...-sigh-

my idiot brother deleted all 1,562 of my favorites =.= that included FF and sasusaku stuff

...idiot brother. yup.

ill update soon: im just happy to have the comp back =]

would anyone be so kind as to send FF stories/photobucket links/FF profiles/sasusaku youtube vids to meh? o.o

email: mandarincherry -at- yahoo -dot- com

thanks so much x]]

I WILL UPDATE! AND THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING! I HOE YPU HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS/HANNUKAH/NEW YEAR! =DDD


	10. Lee Comes Back

Ty for all those who're helping. But DON'T (I repeat, DON'T) overdo yourself. Or I'll kill **myself** =D

* * *

"But _why_?" Sasuke pouted as Sakura put on a coat and her purse.

She laughed.

"Sasuke-kun, there isn't a _day _where we haven't _not _seen each other. But I have _friends_, remember?"

He tapped his finger on his chin, which, Sakura admitted, was really cute.

"Nope." He was on the floor, begging her not to go. God Damnit, he was so desperate, he was grabbing her by the friggin' leg!

Uhm. Not really. Nevermind, REWIND!

"Nope."

She sighed.

"_You _have friends too, remember, Sasuke-kun?"

"Nu uh."

"What about Naruto? Gaara? Kiba? Or maybe spend some family time with your brother!"

She thought for a moment after saying that.

"Yeah, spend some time with your brother. Family comes before relationships!" she teased as she pushed him towards the stairs.

"_Sakura!_" he whined.

"You're beginning to sound like Naruto," she giggled.

He sighed.

"So you prefer _Naruto _over _moi?!_" he asked dramatically, adding a hand over his heart for effect.

She "awwed" and hugged her Sasuke-kun around the waist.

"Of course not, dumbass. You'll always be my Sasuke-kun."

Itachi came behind Sakura, so Sasuke mouthed a "thank you" and gave a thumbs up. Itachi smirked and gave him the rock-on sign.

...You know, Sasuke was grateful for some things Itachi taught him. Literally.

All of a sudden Sasuke lifted her bridal style to his room.

"God damnit, Sasuke-kun! You sneaky bastard!"

He smirked.

"That's me," he said, kissing her forehead.

"KYA!" she shrieked, trying to strangle him.

He kicked open the door to his room and practically dropped her onto the bed.

"Damn you," she muttered, trying to pull herself up so that she could freakin' leave.

He pushed her back down.

"Urusai (annoying)," he muttered, laying down next to her.

"Baka."

After a momentary silence, he spoke.

"It's warm in here, don't you think?"

"Not rea-" she began.

Sasuke, however, stood up and was beginning to take off his short sleeved shirt.

Sakura turned a color of bright red and muttered something inaudible (or is it unaudible?). She felt her nose beginning to bleed and dabbed at it with her white sweatshirt.

He climbed back onto the bed and grabbed his black shirt and held it against her nose.

"I don't want your blood staining you and your beautiful clothes. I know, it can't help because I'm so sexy," he smirked.

She tried to stomp him on his feet, but he moved back quickly and laughed.

"You're so cute," he teased while he poked her cheek playfully.

"Go jump in a lake," she muttered, feeling the bleeding was about the stop.

"Only if you go with me," he smirked against her skin, grabbing her around the waist. By doing so, his fingers pulled up the hem of both her shirt and sweatshirt, so that he felt her warm skin.

She yelped and wrapped her arms around his bare chest.

Stroking her hair while smirking, his right hand traveled up her back, just below her bra strap.

She turned pink again (did you know when you blush the outlining of your stomach turns red? Anyways...) and tried to knee him in the balls.

He "tsked," blocking her attempt.

"Naughty, naughty Sakura," he teased, running his finger up and down her neck.

"You-"

His lips met hers, and suddenly (though she hated to admit it) she was in sudden bliss. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she deepened the kiss, and he eagerly responded by nibbling her bottom lip, begging for entrance.

He was unzipping her shirt, so that more of her skin (and soon her-)--

"YOUTHFUL SAKURA-CHAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH UNYOUTHFUL SASUKE-SAMA?!" Lee shrieked from the doorway (hell knows how he got there).

Lee, wearing a tattered (courtesy a la stray cats) green jumpsuit, hair ruffled, chest out proudly holding two suitcases in each hand, wore a bewildered face.

"Get the fuck out of here, Lee," Sasuke snarled as he shielded _his _(I mean, of course!) cherry blossom away from rated-X things.

Lee dropped his suitcases and gasped dramatically.

"Y-You said-" he said, pointing an accusing finger at him while wearing a rather odd face (as normal).

Without warning, Sasuke threw Lee out the 86th window of his house, and he landed with a ker-splat! onto the ground.

He laid back on the bed with Sakura.

"You know, if that weren't Lee, I'd smack you and yell at you," she smiled.

"Hn."

Sasuke covered her with his partially blood-stained T-shirt as a blanket. The stared at the ceiling, hand in hand, and soon fell asleep.

* * *

ZOMG I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE FORVER I'M SO FRIGGIN SORRY!

GAHHHHHHH.

I HATE MYSELF D=

Did you all have a good winter break? Feel free to tell me what you did x3 I'd love to hear it =DD


	11. Naruto to the Rescue?

"YOU FOUL, DIRTY, EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH!" Sakura shrieked as she hurriedly zipped up her shirt while throwing a rather expensive-looking vase at her boyfriend's head.

He caught it with ease. "Didn't Hermione Granger say that line?" (I LOVE YOU HARRY POTTER =333 ANTI TWILIGHT! No offense D:)

"I ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"What's with you? Are you PMSing or something?" he mumbled.

She gave a cry of frustration and grabbed his hair.

"You know _perfectly _well what you did, you _bastard_!"

"...Nope."

He wasn't scared of her. Was he?

_I'm scared._

**Me too. -slit slit-**

Tch. Wimps. (Real Sasuke)

_Fuck, Sasuke, drop the freakin' vase and run. You've got lots of money to burn._

**_Yo yo yo, he's right, fool~ _**

...I have a rapper alter ego side of me too? This is not a good day.

Suddenly his cheek felt warmer than warm and his nose was bleeding. And it didn't even require a half-naked Sakura.

She covered her arms protectively over her chest (even though her clothes were still on her) and "hmphed."

Itachi barged in (OMG! You didn't even knock D:) and stared at the figures ahead of him.

"What...?" he began, dressed in only sweatpants and a black Uchiha T-shirt.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Sakura sighed, wrapping her arms around Itachi and giving him a kiss.

He put his arm around her waist and gave a slight hug.

"Are you sure he's-"

"Fine, yes," Sakura completed for him, happy to feel his warmth. "He's just being a turd, as always," she said, giving him puppy-dog eyes for no reason.

He kissed her forehead.

"Isn't he always," he teased her, tickling her chin.

Sasuke was on the floor, twitching occasionally while he looked as if he'd die from blood loss.

But no one really cared at the moment.

Suddenly Sasuke shrieked.

"HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN! THEY ARE GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU!" he pointed at a dresser. "AND YOU!" he pointed at the mirror. "AND ESPECIALLY _YOU!_" he said, pointing dramatically at his comb, the only thing besides Sakura that had raided his perfectly sexy hair.

"EPA! EPA!" he shrieked, on the ground and spinning around in circles like Grandpa Simpson had.

(Haha. I love the Simpsons =D)

"Are you sure he's alright?" Sakura asked worriedly, a hand on Itachi's chest.

"He has an Uchiha moment sometimes," Itachi said, stroking her hair.

"Isn't it a blonde moment?" Sakura replied. (NO OFFENSE TO BLONDES. NO OFFENSE! D=)

"But you're not blonde, are you?" he smirked. Damnit, it was too cute.

She snuggled her head in his chest.

"I love you," she muttered.

"As do I," he murmured even quieter, kissing her forehead.

"I've got to go, gomen, Sakura-chan," he said, quickly bending down to her level to give a quick yet slow kiss on the corner of her lips.

She hugged him around the middle and then pushed him out.

"Take care," she giggled.

Sasuke was now dying of blood loss on the floor, doing the Michael Jackson dance and injuring himself in every way speakable.

...Besides having sex with a guy.

How fun is that?

First, his girlfriend tries to kill him.

Next, he's on the floor dying of bloodloss.

Great. Real great.

Suddenly when Sakura was about to walk back to the bed to get some sleep, Sasuke grabbed her leg, making her trip so that she was now on top of him.

"Urusai," he said, having a frustrated look on his face while he wiped up most of the blood.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her face down to meet his.

Her swollen lips were already swollen: Did he _have _to have hormones?

Then again...

Before she knew it, his hands were tugging at her sweatshirt, urging it to come the fuck off.

(No Lemons. SOWWY NARU-VAMPIRE D: But i'll make a lemon 'specially fer yuu :D But you ish gotta edits it. lmao.)

She kneed him in the balls and Naruto _magically_ came to the rescue with a towel 'round his waist, still having shampoo and conditioner (how else does he get that perfectly smooth...I mean-) in his hair.

"Huh? What happened?" he said, eating ramen, while holding his towel.

"Naruto, sometimes I worry about you," Sakura muttered, shaking her head while getting up off of Sasuke.

"I know you do," he smiled through a mouthful of beef ramen.


	12. SORRY FOR CRAPPINESS TT

Dammit. I'm stuck and I have no ideas...T.T

Help would be appreciated =) MAJOR WRITER'S BLOCK! =OO

* * *

"I must confess, it's killing me nowwww, don't you **know I still believe~,**" Sasuke sang as he got into the shower.

Sakura was hearing singing, though she didn't know where.

"That you will be here, and gimme a sign~**HIT MEH BABY ONE MORE TIME!**" Sasuke finished as he made a rug burn on the 48 by 60 **foot **shower.

He still had his clothes on in the shower; it was a habit of Itachi accidentally walking in and then screaming, "MY POOR, VIRGIN EYES!"

However, if it were _Sakura_, then that'd be a whole different story.

Literally.

Sakura walked to his bathroom and knocked.

"S-Sasuke-kun? Are you in there?"

There was no response of indication, but now a new solo of "IT'S THE--EYE OF THE TIGER, IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT! RISING UP, TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVALS-!"

"ARE YOU ON DRUGS?" she screamed, hoping he would hear her.

"Oh Em Gee! -GEE!- You can't see me! -ME!- I'm blendin' in just like a pine tree! -Tree?- I AM UNSEEN! -Seen!- YOU CAN'T SEE ME BECAUSE I'M SASUKE, SAS, SASUKE, SASUKE, SAS, SASUKE!"

Since Sasuke was the number one most subscribed on YouTube (beating Itachi, (number 2), Fred, and NigaHiga, ) he forced Ryan to make him a remix of "The Ninja Glare" with Sasuke included.

Sakura burst into a fit of giggles.

"_What _was that?!" she said, laughing against the door. This caused the door to open, which caused _her _to fall, and...yeah.

Since the floor was slippery (courtesy a la **Naruto**) she fell into the bathtub, unable to see because of the cursed soap bubbles.

* * *

Five minutes later someone's lips were on hers performing CPR, and their hands were _abnormally _close to her breasts.

"YOU PERVERT!" she said, shrieking.

Sasuke's sleek black hair was dripping wet (she had to admit that was **sexier** than _sexy_), and his dark black eyes gazed into hers.

"I saved you, and all I get is a "you pervert" and a slap? I feel so unloved," he said, clapping a hand over his heart for effect.

She "awwed" and wrapped her arms around him.

"You know I love you, and you _are _my wittle Sasu-chan pervert," she cooed.

He silently wished she was wearing a white shirt right now, since her other clothes were soaking wet.

He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I still feel unspecial," he murmured against the crook of her neck.

"We all love you: Me, Itachi-kun, Naruto, your family, and not to mention all 3,926,481 fan girls/boys you have," she giggled, kissing his forehead.

"Itachi hates me."

"No he doesn't," Sakura sighed. "He loves you more than _I _do. Family comes first," she teased.

"Hn."

She pushed him to the ground and wrapped her arms around him, smiling in his chest.

He, being confused, went with the flow and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You smell like perfume," she laughed.

"It's cologne, Sakura. Perfume is for women like you." he said, sighing.

"Cologne, perfume, who the hell cares," she said, snuggling in his wet shirt.

He rolled over so that he was now on top, his still wet-black hair dripping on her skin.

She blushed when she looked up at him. -major nosebleed!-

"Yeah, no," he muttered, smirking at her.

"Shut it, Uchiha."

"Uchiha?" he pouted.

"Yes, Sasuke-kun, _Uchiha_. Your _last _name, if I recall-MMPH!"

His tongue traced the outside of her lips, and he smirked at her soft moaning.

"I'm so good at this game," he said with pride.

"I hate you," she snarled, his hand creeping up her wet shirt.

"I know you can't look away from my sexiness," he sighed (though he couldn't help but smirk), "But yes, Sakura, I love you too."

She shrieked and tried to pull his hair.

He laughed and held back her hands.

"Careful, now, Sakura-_chan_," he teased.

"I HOPE YOU DIE!"

"And go to heaven with you? How pleasant," he chided.

"UGH!" she shrieked at him, pulling his face down to hers to just kiss him and end the friggin' confusion.

His tongue begged to enter her mouth, and when she stopped to breathe, he took the chance and made her hate him forever. And _ever_.

Supported by his knees, his hands were on the sides of her head, massaging her scalp. She repressed a moan.

"Damn you _fucking _bastard!" she murmured, undoing the buttons on his white dress shirt. It fell to the floor.

He pulled apart for a jiffy (an 1/100th of a second xD) and smirked.

"Naughty, naughty Sakura," he teased, continuing to smirk while she nearly kneed him in the balls again.

He unzipped her shirt halfway before she held his hand back.

"Don't you _try, _Sasuke, literally, I mean it," she said, glaring at him.

"Who says I'll listen to you, Sa-ku-ra?" he said, tugging the zipper so that it was now 3/4 of the way down.

She tightened her grip on his arm.

"Really, Sasuke, _please _don't," she said, begging.

There was a pregnant pause.

He did what no one really expected him to do: He chuckled.

"You _think _I'm that desperate? To tell the truth, Sakura, I'm just as scared--no, maybe even _more _than you are," he smirked, tickling her chin.

"W-What?" she asked, confused.

He kissed her forehead softly, then her nose, and then her lips. Very, very gently.

"I'll go as far as you want me to go. I don't want to hurt you."

She tilted her head so that Sasuke could kiss her better.

* * *

GAH. NO HUMOR, NO FRIGGIN' NOTHING.

THIS IS LIKE TWILIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN =.= (no offense Twi-tards!) but it's basically revolving around Sasuke/Sakura.

GAHHH. I HATE WRITER'S BLOCK.

NUU. Helpies D=


	13. IMPORTANT Dx

HELP ME! GAHHHHHHZ Dx

I NEED IDEAS! MAJOR WRITER'S BLOCK!

...but im STILL alive =OO

this reminds me of that portal song "Still Alive"

anyways. I NEED IDEAZZZZZZZZZZZ BECAUSE....UHM...OR ELSE...

it'll be discontinued D:

...i dont wantz it to be discontinued

b/c its...WSIC? was meh life Dx

and just like horcruxes, (haha huge HP fan), PARTS OF MY SOUL are in: WSIC? and MOPB!

...-sniff- you don't want to kill me, do you? Dx

...and if you're wondernig, i killed two ants to make those horcruxes ;)

ideas plawks :D

email mehh~

mandarincherry -at- yahoo -dot- com

wuv you all x]


	14. Really Shtty Short Chappie TT

"Where the _hell _is Sasuke?" Sakura shrieked as she looked around the whole Uchiha compound, repeatedly asking Naruto, Hinata, Mikoto, Itachi, and hell, even _Fugaku_.

And they didn't know.

"He's _got _to be here somewhere," she muttered, looking at his favorite places:

The uber large refrigerator in his room filled with tomatoes. Once Sakura opened it, and there was Sasuke, sitting in it, cramped, eating tomato after tomato.

Checked. Thrice. Not there.

The _other _pool in his room filled with tomato juice.

Checked. Four times. Not there, but she _was _kinda thirsty...

His underwear drawer that's like, five times the size of her bed.

Nope, but it is really comfy...

...

Just...don't ask.

And some other god forsaken places, including the broken elevator (courtesy a la Naruto, AGAIN), Itachi's nail polish drawer, and hell, even Itachi's _friggin' _Akatsuki coat closet.

Nope, not there, and NADA.

Sakura sighed and fell back on Itachi's bed (I mean, she _was _in his room! :O) and looked at the ceiling.

_What the _hell _have you got yourself in again?_

Meanwhile, poor Sasu-chan had duct tape over his mouth, and his wrists/ankles were bound together by a well-done rope sailor knot.

Okay, so it wasn't the smartest thing ever: taking a walk in the park, waiting for Sakura, with a bouquet of roses and cherry blossoms in his hands, suddenly feeling hot, taking off his shirt, and then...--

"KYA! SASUKE-KUN!" came many shrieks, which caused the neighboring country to have a major earthquake due to "unknown circumstances."

He didn't know what was going on: The only thing running in his mind was:

_Sakura, if I don't make it out alive, I want you to know..._

_-sniff-_

_Well you already know I love you. But that's not the point._

_...I stole your cherry poptarts. I thought they were tomato filled, okay?!_

Meanwhile, the other thing he was thinking was...

**Put your ass in the air, put your ass up in the air, put your ass in the air, put your ass up in the air~**

Seriously. There should be a "Konoha Idol" dedicated to him.

...Well, there were three built. But he accidentally tore them all down with Sakura when they were working with a science experiment that involved many different chemicals and a blindfold.

Okay, but he actually got to grope her in the middle of the smoke to find her.

That was the good part.

While Sasuke was having his memorable flashbacks, the fangirls and fanboys kidnapped him, and while trying to rape him, he ran away, only to trip on a bra that had dumbells under each pad.

...Don't ask. It was just there, okay?

And that was why he was now sitting in a cramped room, half-naked except for his boxers, and basically kidnapped.

And he was claustrophobic.

That's bad.

Very, very bad.

And with no Sakura, it's worse.

* * *

Itachi and Sakura were looking for Sasuke, picking the most randomest places in the world.

Sakura fell to the ground and sighed. Itachi picked her up bridal style.

"Sakura-chan, don't give up yet," he muttered.

"I can't help it!" she groaned, stretching her arms.

He laid her on his bed and sat on the corner.

"Hn."

He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Love you too, Ita-chan," she smiled, closing her eyes, kicking off her shoes.

"Aah."

And Sasuke was having fun being vulnerable to the whole wide friggin' world.

* * *

**KYA! sorry taht's short...tyvm to ALL of you guys =D including , one of the most awesomest reviewers in the whole wide world. actually...YOU ALL ARE! =OO**

**I LOVE YOU ALL! -kisses you~-**

**AIM me: Shiyu11220**

**MSN moi: mandarincherry -at- yahoo -dot- com**

**YouTube meh: SasuSakuShrine**

**Mwhaha. I lurve you all.**

* * *


	15. Dumb Shitty Chappie Dx

Suddenly, three girls, tall, bitchy, and slutty and the same time (can you guess? xD) came in.

"Sasuke-kun..." they purred, in their hands was duct tape.

"Silence is golden but duct tape is silver!" one girl with choppy **RED **hair jumped, landing in a perfect split with her pom poms in the air.

_Glad you know, bitch, _he thought.

Suddenly they walked closer.

And closer.

And closer.

Sasuke tried to shout, but was muffled by the tape.

"MMPH! MMPH! *WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?!*"

"Rape you. DUH," a girl with a **BLONDE **ponytail said casually.

"NUUUUU!" he cried, though it came out as a "MMPH!"

They were about to rape him when....

-drum roll-

"EXPECTO PATRONADS! (I know that's not the incantation...but...^^;; THANKS TO NARU-VAMPIRE FOR THE IDEA!)" a voice came from behind, a giant silvery stag crashing into the wall. (Yes...I know it's not how it works. I'm an HP geek, remember? This is supposed to be messed up x3)

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"H-H-HARRY POTTER! ZOMG, CAN I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH?!"

Then Harry's uber-smexy (though not as uber-smexy as Sasuke's) voice came from behind.

"Sure, kid."

Then the three girls ran away from both Harry and Sasuke's sexiness (though Sasuke proudly admitted he was sexier, which caused Harry to petrify him.)

* * *

Itachi, Sakura, Mikoto, and even Fugaku were playing BS (fave card game =P) on the huge table: they had to sit on it and move closer so that they could deal and such.

"Fuck," Fugaku muttered as he saw his future daughter-in-law--

I mean--Uhm, forget that line ^^;; -walks away slowly-

Beat the SHIT out of everyone, including Itachi, who always won.

Itachi, obviously pissed but loved Sakura more than a stupid card game, mentioned, "Why don't we play poker?"

"STRIP POKER!" Mikoto cheered as she threw the cards up in the air.

There was a pregnant pause: Fugaku looked at his wife as if he didn't know her. Itachi was twitching and choking at the same time, and Sakura had to pat his back, while she, too, turned pink from embarassment.

"Uhm. Mom. Poker's just fine," Itachi muttered, while everyone else silently agreed.

"Hmph. Fugaku and I did it _all _the time in high school, remember sweetie? You always lost because I was so good," she teased.

"Hn," he turned away, blushing.

(I know nothing about poker. So...)

_Ten minutes later..._

Sakura slammed her _third _Royal Flush down, then stood up.

Okay, so Itachi _never _lost at Poker, and hell, he'd only gotten a Royal Flush _once_.

"Damnit," Itachi muttered, folding down his cards.

Sakura smiled and bent down to Itachi's level.

"You know I still love you, Itachi-kun," she said, her lips so close to his ear that Mikoto and Fugaku could've sworn she was nibbling it.

Mikoto wanted to pull out her digital camera, but Fugaku, understanding this moment, pulled his wife away by her wrist so that he could lead her up to their bedro--

I MEAN--

TORTURE CHAMBER.

Yeah.

Like those medieval ones, ya dig? Anyways...

Itachi made a facial expression between a smirk and a smile.

"Aah."

He bent his head up to press his lips against hers for half a second.

"I love you, too," he muttered.

* * *

It was 11:00 pm, and Harry, meanwhile, ditched Sasuke so that he could go back to Hogwarts and kill Voldemort, ya know?

Sasuke was nearly molested by fangirls on the way (I mean, he _does _look sexy in the rain!) and slammed open the door.

There he saw his brother holding his girlfriend to sleep, for Sasuke.

What a nice thing.

Itachi carried Sakura bridal style over to Sasuke, who took her with ease.

"Thanks, otouto," he smirked.

"No problem. Aniki," he said, flicking Sasuke's wet yet sexy forehead.

They smirked at each other.

"She's going to get cold from your clothes. Make sure one of the maids gives her a hot bath. And clean yourself."

"You sound like Kaa-san."

"I know."

Itachi ruffled his brother's hair.

"You're a good brother, Sasuke."

"You're better," he muttered.

"No. You are," Itachi smirked.

And he walked away, leaving a dripping Sasuke holding a sleeping Sakura, who really was awake, smiling at the conversation.

* * *

Okay, so it was short, crappy, shitty, useless, waste of five minutes reading this junk, and some other shit.

Thanks for reviewing =D

...Basically translates to, REVIEW AND **FLAME**.


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